Let me start with the good about the book:
The book has very good chapters on internalized shame and maladaptive strategies that gay men follow to avoid shame without actually free themselves from it.

Let's now get to what I did not like of the book:
* The book usually assumes that every gay man has/had exactly the same experiences. Although the book occasionally recognizes that not all gay men have the same experiences, it always only covers one scenario.
* The interaction with mother and father is depicted in the old distant-father, overbearing-mother. A situation that applies to some gay men but it is not to be confused with the typifying experience of gay men
* The books lacks of indications on how to achieve a "happy" life after shame is overcome. The book is descriptive how somebody would feel if he managed to achieve this happy status but does not really give any practical strategy to achieve it.

Other observations:
* The book makes no explicit use of Cognitive Behavior Therapy techniques.
* The book is directed explicitly to gay men, and does not explicitly mentions lesbians, bisexuals or transgenders

Finally there is a book dealing with the effects of shame on the gay male culture and it's connection to the eternal "gay adolescent." The issues of the oversexualized, overinflated, narcissistic sense of self are directly correlated to underlying shame in gay men.

Alan Downs is clearly making these connections in an easy to read, insightful, and human book. I have recommended it to numerous patients and it has provoked intense, healing discussions in the consulting room.

An outstanding book for both the clinician as well as the client.

Philip A. Tecau, M.F.T.