When I had to place my partner of eighteen years in assisted- living this summer,I felt such sorrow, guilt and despair that I barely functioned in my professional job. I would cry for hours, letting the phone ring when I couldn't compose myself enough to speak. At only 56, my partner had a massive stroke, followed by two more. By January of this year, she was showing all the signs of dementia. When I knew she could not live with me any more, I was heart-broken and tortured by guilt. A friend invitated me to visit her, and I noticed the title of a book laying on my friend's bedside table,"Broken Open". That really described me.
I began to read it, and I spent much of my visit finishing it!
Suddenly I knew I would eventually move through all this awfulness and out the other side.
Lesser's image of the Phoenix rising from the ashes resonated with me, for ashes was an apt metaphor for my life then.
So I began to follow the path Lesser lays out for the reader. She combines the use of emotional and spiritual growth tools that can lead toward healing and growth.
I was not able to feel the Phoenix in me when I opened these pages the first time. But after many readings of this gentle and sometimes humorous book, I'm on my way to owning such strength. I read many of the other books Lesser recommends to the reader. I also prayed, meditated, and kept going to therapy. But this book started the whole miraculous passage toward recovery.
Elizabeth Lesser, with her poetic and supportive writing, held my hand, week after week. Her words created a virtual hologram that held me when I cried, and patted me softly as I raged.
Lesser's loving mission for this book must have been to help the reader see how she is feeling normal fear and pain that comes with crisis. Lesser acknowledges the unbearable and out-of-control nature of the crisis and loss experience. She helps the reader grow in confidence that she will come through it all, alive and sane... like almost all of us do.
I just read her book 3 months ago, and have also now read her book "A Seeker's Guide", another excellent, beautifully- written guide to spiritual growth.
So I haven't yet risen from the ashes of my burnt-out self. But Lesser's book has given me the courage to keep on facing reality, being present with my feelings, and meditating as if my life depended on it. Thanks, Elizabeth.
I may have misunderstood the book description when I purchased it but I was looking for more of a self help book with specific suggestions and advice on how to get through difficult times in your life. Lesser's book is more of a self absorbed memoir than a self help book. She continually uses the term "Phoenix Process" without explaining how a person goes through it. Lots of new age name dropping and stories about her oh-so-amazing life but no solid advice.
